This is a rant, it is not a huge angry person rant but I felt like it and since it is my blog where I can write what I feel like (Hello to the entitled readers who want writers to give you what you want not what we deem relevant in agreement with the voices in our heads). Hehehehe… Anyway, someone I have not spoken to in years texts me on WhatsApp to inform me they are getting married; I congratulate her and since I didn’t have her number, I ask who it is and she tells me. She informs me that she has emailed me a copy of her wedding budget and would be happy to see me at the inaugural meeting, I politely inform her that I have been sick but will see when possible.
It turns out, I am at that stage in my life where everyone is getting married, where you have more than four wedding meetings in a day and you decide to just stay home to watch TV instead. I am so happy and glad most of you have found the love of your life and that you want to get married, it is a beautiful thing to celebrate love in the presence of God and your loved ones. Even so, you are braver than some of us who are still keeping thoughts about matrimony at a distance. A toast to you all.
Now the most amazing thing about the lady who texted me earlier about her pending nuptials was her wedding budget. When I downloaded the copy, it was a 100 Million Uganda shillings budget with nothing covered and I mean nothing, not even the crates of sodas or the cake or even the wedding rings. Nothing! Put in mind that the wedding is in January, a month known for both financial drought and extreme heat because people spent a lot during the christmas season and are trying to use the rest for school fees or or any financial spillages brought forward from the previous year. The lady is a receptionist at a firm in Kampala and her Fiancé is a Sales Representative for a company based here and in Kenya, they are living in a rental apartment in Kisaasi an upcoming surburb on the outskirts of Kampala city.
First of all, WHAT THE HELL?! What is wrong with you people? Why the hell would you make such an exorbitant amount for one single day when none of your families can bring in 10 million per annum? What is wrong with having a simple wedding? Is it a taboo for us Ugandans to have something small and intimate? Who lied to you that an expensive wedding makes for a perfect day (read lasting marriage)? Why not do something that you can afford? If you cannot cover half of your wedding budget, why would you expect us who are not going to be in your marriage to cover the full budget?
A friend who recently got engaged shocked me by saying he will not have wedding meetings, that his wedding will be small and appropriate for him and the woman he loves. He is rare among the many young Ugandans I know who do not want a huge splashy-flashy wedding. Is it our parents who are pushing us into such? Or we just love flashy things? I mean who doesn’t, but for one day can’t we not plan well?
Yes I know we are here to support you as your friends and family, but do you consider the fact that we all have our own struggles we are dealing with? I was attacked by someone for not being able to show up to a wedding meeting for a University acquaintance: I say acquaintance to be polite because that person was not my friend, she said I earn a lot of money so contributing a mere 300k would be like pocket change to me, I didn’t bother to reply such trivial texts.
First of all in my case, if you considered the fact that I have to pay rent, pay utilities, buy necessities for the house then transport to work daily, I never really have anything left. I keep away from these wedding meetings because I never have anything to contribute and because I hate the annoying questions about when my turn will be. I apologise to everyone else whose wedding meetings I am going to miss because I am busy trying to work on staying a float in this capitalistic world we live in. There are people who are going to read this and get pissed off at me, but you know just because you are getting married doesn’t mean the world is on a pause for you. Yes, I know that I will be getting married soon to but by God’s Grace when that day comes, I will have my wits around me and not jump onto what I can’t afford.